Look at Me!

So, it's time to blog again. Always weird when you take some time off and you want to get something fresh on the site, just to keep the calendar moving, and to change the appearance that your blog/website is dormant. And that you're a total slacker.

But what to write about? You know I can't write about sports here. Well, not sports in a direct kind of way. I can write about sports, so long as it's not sports that anyone cares about.

Great, right? I'm trying to convince you now to read about something that I'm guessing no one cares about. Well, it's my blog and I'll do what I want to.

I'm going to write about my fitness regimen. Lock in, baby, and get ready to read about my six-pack abs!

Kidding.

Are you familiar with P90X? Well, for the last four months, I've been working out six days a week on that killer program. Part of what you're expected to do in P90X is take before and after photos. I skipped that part, and honestly, I'm way too self-conscious (and hairy-chested) to put up any topless shots of myself.

So, how do I look? I guess OK. Am I chiseled? No. Ripped? Not a chance. Toned up? Yeah, I guess if you go by what I looked like pre P90X, I've toned up a good deal.

I still look way better with my clothes on.

Truth be told, it took me four months to work up to P90X. The first time I attempted the workout, I dove right in, attempted to do all the push-ups and pull-ups that are assigned on the very first DVD and, well, it nearly killed me. I took my family out to dinner the night after that first workout, sat down at the table, looked across at my wife and said, "Keep an eye on me. One of two things might happen. I might pass out. Or I might vomit."

She laughed and I said, "I'm not joking." Thankfully, I didn't pass out and I didn't puke. But I felt absolutely awful. And that was nothing to the way I felt over the next -- believe it -- three weeks. Yes, for 21 straight days I was unable to perform the most basic motor skills. Things like grabbing a coffee mug out of the cabinet, opening a car door, created incredible pain.

I hate failing at things, so when all the soreness went away, I backed up to a program called Power 90. It's a workout designed by the same trainer, Tony Horton, but it's:

A. A lot easier.
B. Funny to watch because it's so low budget and dated (who wears short shorts?).

The great thing about Power 90 was, simply, that I could do it. And I did it for all 90 days, 33 of which were spent in various hotels in South Africa. Having completed that routine, I decided to try P90X again. And, guess what, I've been able to complete it...and start it again.

A few things. I can't do the pull-ups. They demand a lot. I can only do a few. So, I hang resistance bands from the pull-up bar and improvise that way. Also, unless you starve yourself (aka the P90X diet), you're probably not going to burn enough calories to get all ripped up. There's not a lot of cardio in P90X, unless you do what they call "doubles."

I don't do "doubles."

Another thing about P90X is they encourage you to become a "Beachbody Coach." This is a multi-level-marketing thing where, if you agree to get some amount of products every month, you can get others to join the same program and make a few bucks.

I'm guessing that those who are successful "Beach Body Coaches" look better than I do. But that's OK. I'm improving day-to-day and proud that I can simply say, "I did it."

And I'm going to keep on doing it.

Do you care?