What are the Rules of Breakfast?

Driving Beau to school today, a commercial came on the radio for the McDonald's "Southern Style Chicken Biscuit." My 10-year old asked, "Dad, have you ever had one of those?"

My answer was, of course, "No way, that's so unhealthy...fried chicken on a biscuit...puh-lease."

A lie.

Hey, if you know my wife, you'd understand the fib. Fact is, I've had the SSCB a few times and it's both gross and amazing, sort of the way Sour Patch Kids are both gross and amazing (I can throw back one of those $2 bags in 90 seconds and instantly feel the tooth decay followed by the stomach ache). I mean, it's nasty, a piece of greasy fried chicken on a biscuit, washed down with coffee. But at the moment it hits the taste buds, it's...uhh...unbelievable. Later on, different story.

The fried chicken biscuit is old news for my North Carolina friends. To them, it's as normal as sausage gravy (what the hell is that, by the way?) and chicken-fried steak (oof). The greater question in my mind, however, is what exactly constitutes "breakfast food?"

Take, for example, the doughnut. Why is a doughnut acceptable as a breakfast food in many houses, yet the thought of serving your kid (or yourself) a piece of chocolate cake in the morning is out of bounds? Of course, coffee cake is acceptable any time of day.

So many questions...